"I love when the summer's over and we can spend close to a hundred dollars on new school supplies! Don't you?"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Nah, I don't see any resemblance between the Midnight Oil guy and US Olympian, Phil Dalhausser. Why do you ask?"

-Said Nobody, Ever. 

"I see no reason why we should include Dr. Who in the London Olympic Opening Ceremonies."

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Nah, I don't watch the Home Run Derby. I think it ruins the spirit of the game."

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Hey! I'd bet that life might just be easier without God. What do ya think?"

- Said Nobody, Ever.

Ya know what I find refreshing on 100-degree days? The feel of tepid bath-water! Thanks Lake Michigan!"

- Said Nobody, Ever.

"I love when this happens in the Summer and wish I could be part of it all-year round!"

- Said Nobody, Ever.

"My, Katy Perry is not only an incredibly talented singer, but also not the least bit irritating!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"I love it when it's so hot out even my balls sweat!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"I can't imagine why anyone WOULDN'T want to eat these!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Nah... I appreciate the offer of a fantastic beer, but I'll just stick to Bud Light."

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"I can't wait to grow up and drive a Minivan!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Oh, I see no reason why putting a metal zipper near a man's penis would ever cause trouble."

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Oh, yeah! I can totally see how those would be VERY comfortable!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"Wow! Let's keep all those great remake ideas coming!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.

"I can't wait for even MORE 90-plus degree days!"

-Said Nobody, Ever.